Welcome Xavier part 6

He is a beautiful little boy born March 20,2004. Xavier Kyless Reid. He weighed 8 lb 8 oz healthy and happy. We spent the first 2 days at the hospital.

My mom stayed with us. His three brothers were so excited to see him. They fell in love instantly. My heart melted with joy and all my worries seemed to fade away. Life was full of love. His oldest brother Spent hours holding him and helping me. He changed his first diaper.

He decided he needed to dress him and have him wear shoes at a couple days old. It was such a great bonding experience for them.

On the early morning of April 1, 2004 I woke up to him staring at me with his deep brown eyes. He had not woken up to eat for many hours. I start to feed him. In the moments to come he seemed to be choking however he was changing color, then all the sudden he was ok.

I instantly felt something was wrong. I had a friend staying with me he was a flight medic, in a panic I called him in to check him out. He was like Wendy he just has the hiccups. I looked at him and that is what appeared to be. Something inside said it was more.

I am not a Dr. However, those mom instincts said something is wrong. He now appeared ok. He was sleepy and went back to sleep. My friend left for work. I was feeling very uneasy. He did have a Dr. appointment in a few hrs. I had asked my mother to drive us to. I was not supposed to drive with the medication they had me taking. Some time had passed he still was asleep, and we had about another hour before my mom would show up and my assistant to open the daycare. 

I decided I would wake him and feed him before we had to leave. He latched right on and suddenly he started what appeared to be choking and turning a funny color.

Then he came right out of it. I was trying not to panic. Do I call 911? He is now breathing fine sleepy has not eaten in hrs. It is seeming to me every time I try and feed him, he has a reaction. Do I feed him or wait until the Doctors appointment?

My assistant arrives I tell her the story and we are discussing it and then my mom arrives, and we tell her. I decide to try and feed him one more time before we leave so he doesn’t cry in the car because he must be starving. He latches right on and feeds for a minute or two then again starts what appears to be choking and he shakes violently and turns blue this time I call 911.

They arrived rather quickly, he was breathing however he was blue and shaking. They took him out of my arms and cut off all his clothing gave him a few compressions and CPR then oxygen.

I at this point stepped out of the room. I couldn’t watch. He was surrounded by people who could help him. I was riddled with panic.

Taking deep breaths with my head swimming of thoughts of I should have called the first time. I knew something was wrong even though it all appeared to be him choking.

I later remembered he had done the same thing in the hospital and we called in the nurse and she sucked out his nose and said it was just mucus from the birth it may take a min for him to get it all out. Mean while They told me they were going to transport him to the hospital they could not get his seizures to stop.

I was not allowed to ride with him I had to follow. Taking deep breaths mentally putting on my armor of no tears and strength. Having no idea what could be wrong.

I knew I was all he had in his corner I couldn’t fall apart. Life questions started to drown me at one point like if he dies will he be in the paradise? Do I even believe in that? Heaviness overtook. I asked my mother to go.

My assistant had things handled with my business and all the children that were now here.  I got in the car and drove behind the big red ambulance. When I arrived, someone met me at the door and took me right into the chapel.  My heart sank. Why here? Where is my son?

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